What is my fault ?

(...Dedicated to the girl suffering )


What is my fault ?

If I was born as a girl to my lovely little family. What is my fault, if my dad taught me to live my life happily and freely as he was always there to back me and protect me from this world. What is my fault if my teacher taught me that India is a democratic country, I can breathe as I like, I can laugh as I like and I can live as I like. I had a happy and normal life, just like you. But one day my life changed, I got victim of few people’s lewdness. I got raped.

I screamed, I cried, I hauled but there was no body to hear my heart crying scream. I pleaded to those beasts to leave me for the sake of humanity, but they didn't. I was in unbearable pain, I was begging them to pity me, but they didn't. With my body, my heart too was in pain, extreme pain.

They were so brutal to me as if I was a non living thing, didn't they notice me breathing? They could have easily bought sex in few bucks, then why did they do this to me at the cost which I can’t afford for my entire lifetime?
 Was the cost of my life so cheap for them, that they denied pitying me and threw me to die?

People say it’s the fault of the “Inappropriate Dress”, is it?
Then why do women get raped although wearing a Saree and Full draped dress?
Then why do small little kids get raped? Their innocent heart would be the “Inappropriate” thing.
And why do boys get raped now days too? They must be walking freely in the street and that would be the “Inappropriate” thing – Bogus excuses.

IS IT MY FAULT?

NO, IT IS NOT.

It is the fault of those satyr maniacs out there who are in search of every next girl whose life they can destroy and fulfill their heinous and shameful desires. It is the fault of the law which is not strong enough, and therefore such people are not afraid of it before carrying out such an act.

That day, my heart died but body still breathes, for the ones who love me and that are my family and friends. I scream for JUSTICE and so do they.

-Today is was her. Tomorrow it could be you or the one you love the most. Share and raise your voice and demand justice for her by demanding from the government, the most brutal punishment ever to those inhuman bastards, so that such an act never ever takes place in future.

RIP Damini !!!

It’s a Man’s World.. I guess

Dedicated to gals voice:...
I get out of my home every day with a fear
... I hope I don’t get touched, and no one gets near
Is my dress too short, or shirt too tight?
‘Coz I have to travel back home in the night.

The man back in the bus gave me a stare,
I wish I could turn back and give him a glare
I thought to myself, don’t create a mess
If you ignore it, the pain will be less.

I walked to my workplace, as fast as I could
A loafer commented which didn’t sound so good
I wanted to beat him till he was nearly dead
But I thought of myself, and passed silently instead.

My workplace I regarded a safe place to be
Where I could be confident, feel safe and free
But, I wish I hadn’t, when one day I ran late,
I couldn’t believe what was in my fate.

Who said we are equal to our counterpart, men?
If you say so, I beg you to think again
I state aloud that it’s a man’s world
With a flag of masculinity proudly unfurled.

When will I walk with my head held high
Without the thorn of fear itching my eye
Without being stared at or getting teased
Will the pain of a woman ever be eased...?
<< We r humans, show sm humanity >>

daRE

Difficult relationships usually mean difficult conversations. Sometime focusing on enhancing the conversational dynamics can help the relationships be a little less difficult.

'How dare they speak to me like that!'...is a thought that becomes a memory of a ‘bad feeling’, that becomes a fear that it may happen again, that becomes a mental and emotional obstacle, that almost ensures you will have a difficult conversation in the future!

Conversations become difficult for different reasons. But the root cause always lies within us not them! It’s really just a statement to our self that we need to learn more about our self and why we are making things difficult in the first place. But it’s not easy to see that the other person is never the problem, regardless of what they say or do. But if we can say to our self, ‘now what is this person, this conversation, this scene we are both in, trying to teach me’, we may find that we can come away from the interaction with some moments of personal enlightenment and access to a deeper strength within our self. It’s just that we may have to do that in retrospect at first!

ALREADY?? Given up

You may own an expensive camera but not be a photographer or have a personal library of your own for that matter but that doesn’t make you an avid reader. Tell me who wrote homer to write or Van Gogh to paint. The answer dwells right in your first effort at anything you proudly taught yourself.

Your interests and your will to learn is your only power. No one can teach you the practicalities of the subject. You can memorize every written word or write an elaborate thesis as far as the technicality is concerned but it’s only in the battleground midst the roaring war cries that will awaken the warrior inside you.

You will never learn anything in the confines of your mental narrowness. You want to draw? find your scape, you want to write? look out for inspiration. It might just be lurking around the corner or perhaps a great story disguised as a fellow passenger.

If you tell me it’s too late for changing your line or bringing those dreams to being. I am guessing that you might either be on your death-bed or a cowardice for have given up so early .The truth is

‘It’s never too late to believe the unbelievable and snatch that possible out of impossible’.

You may slip into a stagnant position regretting the ‘what ifs” in your cubicle at the age of twenty-five or still struggle to learn mandarin at eighty or who knows you become the one who dropped out of college , took creative classes including calligraphy, sleeping on a floor in a friend’s dorm but dreaming about what is now a 108 billion dollar multinational corporation or be a sheer entrepreneurial success who inspired countless dreamers in our own country while his own childhood helplessly passed in supporting his family just after he got through high school.

If you have taken your life for granted and if you think that your tomorrow is promised to you and so are your ten years down the lane then congratulation for locking yourself in a windowless room and gulping down your ‘key to freedom’ but if there is still a slight possibility of an escape then just

Broaden your prospects and not your excuses…

Prashant...why always u r so shant..??

People : Prashant...why always u r so shant..??
and I say People...
sometimes I want to say so many things but I don't know how to say what i feel...
I m living a few years of ma life like most people won’t, so that i can spend the rest of ma life like most people can’t...
so..
It's better to have roots befre branches
and have faith to take chances
...and I think:
There's a darkening sky before me.
There's no time to prepare.
Salvage a lost horizon
But no regrets from me..!!
They said...
I was a girl when i walked alone..
I was a looney when i sung on my own..
I was a fool when i trusted my heart..
I was a kid when i spoke to my Art...
But...
when i closed my eyes ....
and begain to pray ....
then tears of joy ...
fall down my face ...
with arms wide open .....
I wish...
i were doing some business wid God..
i'd ve put all my happiness and...
Rest on mortagage to make u free...
..of any sort of pain or suffering forever...
i wish,i could...
...live ma life fr others happiness :)

A JOURNEY OF LIFE

He always wanted to live up to his name, the meaning of which was a good friend, he loved making friends but there was none whom he could call “BEST FRIEND” coz many person came in his life but never ever he found the one who really deserved to be called one for he had the feeling that,

Someone, someday, somewhere in life will act in a certain way
That all the definitions of friendship will be at bay,
You can’t persuade for they will have no reason to stay
You will find your life in shades of hue and grey,
For there will be loneliness there will be pain
You will find yourself passing through the memory lane,
There’s nothing important in friendship except for trust
Time will take its troll and even that will eventually rust.

So he always looked forward being not only a good friends but a true friend, but he never knew that the best what he could have always got was always with him, it’s a fact that he never realised that. He was born to be a leader but in the journey of life when it came at taking decisions sometimes he just took the wrong ones (his ill temper is to be blamed and his habit of listening to his heart rather than his mind).He thought that he is the only one who is having a miserable life but here there was more pain, loneliness, lost cause and fear which she shared with him only him. But as is the journey of life in which you don’t always get what you have asked for so this time also in the attempt to do something genuinely good he ended up losing his second best friend, the reason he just tried being more than a friend and ended up proposing her not because he was madly in love with her, because he was kind of liking her kind of having a soft corner for her, a special p lace for her in his heart which no one could share, so he thought that this way he will be even more close to her and could bring back the lost smile on her face, all he wanted was to see her happy but he ended up bringing more sadness, pain and loneliness in her life as now he was like a forgotten page in her life. Who at times used to call him at 2 in the morning just to tell that i had a bad dream and i am scared and use to share even her deepest secret that a girl only tells to her own kind coz in reality she loved him and it was just the fact that she was scared of the uncertainty of future and she was scared from the thoughts of someone’s being heartbroken coz of her that she was not accepting the call of her heart. Girls make the most important decisions of their life through their mind but a boy, a boy looks up to his heart for the answers of the questions that life threw at him and decisions taken up being emotional are seldom correct. He thought that a very c lose friend can be a good life partner but he was wrong, he was wrong in breaking the thin veil between FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE…..

She once said that being a friend she was more open, comfortable and close than what she ought to be if she happens to be his better half
He didn’t seem to understand why?

WHY? there always is a tiff between friendship and love, if one considers someone as his/her very close friend that he/she shares their deep feelings with them then why can’t they see them as a good choice as their soul mate, it’s ok to be worried about the uncertainties of life but it’s also true that everything can’t be left alone on fate.
A question follows “CAN A BEST FRIEND BE A GOOD LIFE PARTNER??”

HE PROPOSED HER BY DEDICATING HIS FIRST COMPOSITION
A POEM, A POEM MEANT ONLY FOR HER

“FROM FRIENDSHIP TO LOVE”

Dadi Ma

Tears is the break of my brow,
The moony tempestuous
Sitting downIn dark officeyards
When to see my grandmother’s face
Recalling from the waking vision
I wept to understand
The trap mortality
And personal blood of earth
Why hast thou forsaken me?
Mortality & unpleasure
Roam this city—
Unhappiness my memories..
I want to be saved,-
Sunk—can’t be
Won’t be
Never was made—
So retch!

Life...

Life is a dream,
just flowing as stream.

life is sorrow,
so don't depend on tommorrow.

Life is a play,
To reach God its only way.

life is a birds nest,
in which there's no rest.

life is a war,
it's aim is so far.

life is a joy,
so enjoy this life oh! active boy.

Life is a contest,
In which there's no east or west.

life is a happiness,
so be happy, otherwise it would be useless. 

To Dadi Maa...with Love

(...Dedicated to my friend tear's &  love to her Dadi Maa...)


Dadi amaa ji keh kar unhae mai bulate the, 
Kya haal hai mere 'Bittan' keh gale lagate thi

Payar bhara ehsaas thi wo, 
Sab ki bohat khass thi wo.

Bohat kuch naya sekhate thi, 
jab jab mai unke pass jate thi.

Puchte thi, kese hai bhua, 
kya haal hai sab ka waha.

Kab jae gye milne bhua ko, 
Rakhna apna dheyan waha.

kya kya naya seekha maine, 
yeh sab poocha karte thi, 

Aise thi dadi maa mere, 
Khoob payar wo karte thi.

Khush kismat, hum sab jo, 
Dadi maa ke swroop mai aapko paya tha.

Thi aap to humare ghar mai, 
Khuseyo ka sarmaya tha.

Har dukh-har muskil se, 
aapne hume bachaya tha.

Jeevan hai na aasan etna, 
jo hum aap se  dur gye.

yaado mai rahe gye aap sada, 
Sada aapko pooje gaye.

De gye hai jo-Sanskar humae, 
unhai kabhi na bhoole gaye...!!!

No Body Is True

Everybody Exists In One's Life For Their Own Mean.. :/

I lay in bed alone at night and wonder why I'm here.
I do so much for everyone 
Why don't they show they care?
There is so much hurt I feel, so much anger trapped inside.
Turns out it's a lie just like the smile I put on each and everyday.
I know outside I'm smiling, It's the face I fake for you,
But inside my soul is cryi

ng and there is nothing I can do.
I know my family loves me,
I'm sick of feeling like this walked on rug thrown upon the floor.
I lay in bed and wonder what the hell I'm doing here
Can I wake up from this dream?
Can I please just disappear? :'( :'(

Obsessed with looks O.o

Oh no, I don’t love myself! Umm…yes, I do but not too obsessed with the idea of “I, me & myself”. You know what everyone of us somehow seems to be in love with the idea of “In love with myself”. These days now, even those tiny tots want to look their bests wherever they go whether to their friends’ birthday parties, family outings, schools, etc. In fact, the best-est of all is  those so-called “fat-Indian-weddings” (where on one side ladies are busy in showcasing their expensive saris/outfits and jewelleries to their friends, on the other side kiddies are all very well dressed-up to the level of perfection).

Well it’s not their mistake, it’s just that we all, as human beings, are obsessed with the word “perfection”, even if this “perfection” drags us towards the depth of the well of “narcissism or self-obsession” and suffocates our real identities. This ‘real identity’ is somewhere lost or buried in each of us, though it is searchable  yet at times we all are scared to push it outside. Perhaps, sometimes we get too comfortable with this ‘I, me & myself’ identity of ours that we don’t want to be concerned with anybody else around.

I don’t wanna sound too preachy but ‘Can we just not live with our true self/identity?’ and let alone the world & its people keep frowning as they like to!!

So lately, I read about this article in a magazine which says that ‘Looking good’ & ‘Good-looking’ are two different things. Yeah, I mean that’s quite obvious for everybody to know its meaning but what I’m trying to show you the true picture is that even if you’re good-looking, people wouldn’t compliment you by saying ‘Hey, you’re good-looking’. Instead they would say ‘Hey, you’re looking good’. Now, you would say that probably those “Looking good” compliments could be outta people getting jealous of other people’s ‘Good-looking’ features. Well that could also be true or maybe not or maybe, the obsession with the ‘artificial/unreal identity’ overpowers the ‘real’ one in today’s time.

Real or unreal, the discussion will go on and on….Some in favour, some in against. Narcissism/Cockiness, at times, could prove to be beneficial by helping people in taking risks in life with a pinch of cockiness but never in the long-run. You know it’s really annoying to see people blabbering all the time about nothing but just about them. It’s nothing but like insecurity’s killing those narcissists’ ego and their so-called “status” (I always wondered if they had any in real).

It’s not like that you should stop loving yourself. No, of course not, you should love yourself irrespective of people’s dreary judgement about you ‘cuz that way the respect for yourself will safeguard you and your personality from this hypocritical society and its “gracious” people!

Now, I know why so many people change their selves when they enter adulthood, why despite knowing that they’re doing wrong not to others but only being harsh on themselves is the reason that they’ve hearts of a small kid who want nothing but only love & affection from people, who’s although greedy for materialistic things in life yet at the same time he’s needy for approval, support & motivation from his loved ones; he, who, wants the world to know his story and wants to hear stories every day.

Sometimes, we, as adults, feel scared to be left alone which is very much like insecurity in itself and this flame of insecurity burns our hearts of marshmallows. (Well, even those marshmallows need a flame of fire for us to be able to eat them). Like it or not but we all tend to like grey shades in our character/life, the days of black & white era seems to be gone afar. ‘Grey’ is here to ‘stay’. Say bye to black & white! (Earlier, they used to be called racists for differentiating between blacks & whites. For the greys, what would they be called? Gracists? Huh?)

Me signing off.

Have fun doing whatever you desire.

Cherish & Relish every moment!!

Uttam Kchama...(Forgivness)

(On the occasion of my friend "jain people" festival asking for forgiveness)



I'm sorry for everything you've been through
It must've been very hard on you
I'm sorry for all that's been said and done
I was the moon, you were the sun
I'm sorry for not making everything right
But the situation I was in, was very tight
I'm sorry for not lending you a hand
If only I could be a better friend
I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care
Lucky for you, your special- someone was there
I'm sorry for breaking your heart
For forgiveness, where do I start?

Light's darkest Side !!

I walked. I was humming a song to myself. A sad song- Bleeding Love. The singer was pining for her beloved. She spoke of how they keep trying to pull her away, but her then she kept bleeding love, because her lover had cut her open. I thought I could relate to her, except that I was bleeding blood. The gash I’d inflicted upon my wrist was slowly but steadily draining my veins. I was glad though, that I could not see it. It was too dark for the trickling red drops to be visible.

Suddenly, I stumbled against something. The thing woke up with a start. It was a homeless boy, probably my age, sleeping on the pavement, wrapped up in tethers- his version of a blanket. He looked at me and smiled. What could possibly make him smile in the dead of the night after being rudely awakened, I asked him. He was dreaming a beautiful dream, he said- one in which he could sleep for as long as he wanted. One in which he did not have to wake up at 4 am to walk to the brick kiln to work all day long and make his way to a slow death from dust poisoning. He asked me, “Yeh subah hoti kyun hai”?

I smiled at him and tried to move on. But the pain in my wrist was beginning to numb me. I wanted to walk ahead, but as long as there was even a little bit of life was left in me, I was a slave to the commands of my body. I leaned against an ambulance parked nearby. I looked at its insides. It was one of those well-equipped ones, with life support systems and a very comfortable looking bed. I couldn’t help but wonder, how many lives did this ambulance help save everyday? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? The life support system, that soft bed- did they really matter when you were dying? At night, the ambulance was just another vehicle, waiting patiently for the emergency to occur the next morning. If it had a mind, would it have wanted the sun to rise the next day, bringing with it yet another crisis? Somebody’s mother, somebody’s brother, somebody’s child battling for life… the ambulance saw all this everyday. I wonder if it ever got as sick of its life as I had gotten of mine.

The blood from my wrist was still dripping. I looked around. I could see the silhouette of my city against the night sky. The city I loved. The city that I hated. It looked beautiful now. All I could see was the minaret of the mosque nearby, with a huge statue of a Hindu God in the background. I had never seen a sight more divine, more touching. I was thankful to the darkness of the night, for I had seen what the same scene would look like in the daylight.

Suddenly, I saw a light go on in the minaret of the mosque. I heard the azzan begin, and realized that dawn was breaking. My body had gone completely numb, and I felt the last dregs being sucked out of the
cup that was my life. I lay down on the street, when
suddenly somebody stumbled against my body.

It was the brick-kiln boy- the boy who loved sleeping, the boy who hated daylight, for that meant working in inhuman conditions. He was in a hurry, he did not recognise me. Besides in the dark I doubt he’d seen my face too well. Suddenly I wished I had not slashed my wrist. I wanted to live. I turned my face to look at the Hindu God behind the mosque- In the pink light of daybreak, I could see the idol that had been defaced by the members of the community whose mosque the Hindus had painted black during a communal riot. I asked Him to send the driver of the ambulance to me, to take me to a hospital where I could be saved. But no miracle happened.

Later in the day, as the sun shone down upon the city, bathing it in a warm light, people found my lifeless body lying next to the ambulance.

BH@R@t B@NdH

Vo Taalo Ka Latakna...Vo Rally Ki Bahar..,
Vo Bus Ko Aag Lagana...Vo Maarpit Ka Samachar..,
Vo Train Rokna...Vo Aam Logo Per Prahar…,
Mubarak Ho Aap Ko "Bharat Bandh" Ka Tyohar…!!!

Iss Bandh Ke Tyohar Se Kya Hasil Hoga!!!!!!
10 se 13 Hajar Crore ka Nuksaan aur Kahte Hai Bandh Safal Hoga…
Maheghai Virodh Andolan, Samarthako ke Bhukh Hadtal Se Jyada Safal Hota…
Itna Anaj aur Bharat Ka Nuksan Bachta…

Mera Bharat Mahan !!!!!!

secret ,|,,

Got a secret, can you keep it?
swear this one you'll save.
better lock it, in your pocket,
taking this one to the grave.
when I show you, i know you,
won't tell what I said, cause two can keep a secret,
when one of them is dead...dead...dead..."RIP"

smoke to Deadly Death

(...Dedicated to suffocating night...created by my friend Pankaj Kalita...while smoking...)

Cigarette in my hand...I feel like a man...
It gives me the confidence...that "I can"...

You don't agree...?? wait till I show you...
Its importance - then you won't argue...


I need it with my breakfast toast...
To supply me the vitamins I need the most...

I need it when I enter my work-place...
To give me the energy to match the pace...

I need it after my lunch...
To increase the digestion after the munch...

I need it in my coffee break...
And that's just for keeping me awake...

I need it with my evening snacks...
To lift my verve when it sags...

I need it when I leave for the day...
to relax after the tortuous play...

I need it when I move around with friends...
to get the "kick" and feel the trends...

I need it after my dinner...
To adieu my day as a winner.

On my way to glory...

I overlook the statutory warning written on the pack...
For my valour - I should be given a pat on my back.

I feed gallons of smoke to my neighbour...
Can anyone else boast of such a favour ??

An apple a day keeps the doctors away...
The doctors then,won't have any say.
I keep the doctors busy n working...
The apple would have left them sulking.

I contribute heavily in the government's revenues...
which help them venture the different avenues...

And you want me to quit smoking ??
I am sure you must be joking.

I am happy the way I am.
I'm no saint up above the hills.
And if at all I decide to quit...
What'll happen to the company called KinGs ?? 

WARNING: Cigarette smoking is injurious to health

Office.. Click Click Click..

Click Click Click.. and i open the folder,
Click me again and delete files older,
Click me left or click me right,
Click me on an adress to open a site..

Scroll me up or scroll me down,
You are my master, I am your clown,
Just one slide of finger is enough for me,
And I can also be set as button three.

Though I am your servant, I have a servant of my own,
Who does each and every command that I have thrown,
You move me around and on the screen it moves too,
The cursor follows all the commands given by you.

A Crisis In Romance

It was my first day at office,

With a beautiful smile and that hunt for knowledge,

You passed me by and I caught a glimpse,

Long enough to sweeten my ever monotonous dreams.

                           

You were at the cafeteria with your friends,

Discussing excitedly, about the latest fashion trends,

Your face lit up and your eyes did shine,

But hesitant I, stood patiently, in the boy's line.

Procrastination was killing me but I needed a clue,

How was I supposed to approach you like a bolt out of the blue?

While you were an angel, I was a rouge,

You hated cigarettes and I lived in smoke.

After some research I realized that my heart was broken,

The world was fast asleep and I half woken.

You turned out to be the popular coder, with the heartless tag,

And I was just another associate, a mere teenage dirt ...!

By a associate dirt ‘Prashant’, Reader are requested not to ask about ‘coder’